Take the our communication style quiz

Unlock the best way for you to connect with others.

After taking this quiz, you'll be given one of 3 communication styles: avoidant, anxious, or secure. Learning your style will give you insights into how you may respond to others in conflict, giving you actionable tools to use in order to reach deeper intimacy with everyone you communicate with.

Progress: step 1 out of 34

During conflict I... ^*

tend to shut down

prefer to resolve conflict immediately.

dont mind taking space during active conflict and coming back to it later

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1 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I worry that if I show vulnerability or express my needs in relationships, I'll end up being rejected or abandoned.

I often find myself feeling anxious about the state of my relationships, constantly seeking reassurance from my partner or friends to alleviate my doubts.

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If someone I'm dating starts acting cold and distant, I... ^*

might not care or even feel relieved.

worry that I've done something wrong.

may wonder what's going on, but I know it's probably not about me.

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2 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

When I am upset about something, its easier not to bring it up.

I often go into a spiral when I worry about unknowns.

I want support from my partner but I struggle with asking them to support me.

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3 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I want support from my partner but I struggle with asking them to support me.

I prefer not to show others how I feel deep down.

When my partner is away, I fear they might become interested in someone else.

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4 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I insist on being self-reliant; I do many tasks or hobbies alone.

I often have trouble calming myself down and rely on others to console or alleviate my stress or unease.

I find it easy to flow between being closely connected to other people and being on my own.

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5 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I don't feel comfortable opening up to others.

I'm afraid that other people may abandon me.

I find it easy to depend on others.

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6 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I sometimes find myself judging others for not being more self-sufficient.

I often apologize for things I haven’t done, simply because I fear upsetting or losing the other person.

I attempt to discover and meet the needs of others whenever possible.

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7 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

Sometimes I push people away when they get too close, even though deep down I crave connection and intimacy.

"I often find myself overanalyzing interactions with my partner, wondering if they truly understand my feelings and intentions."

Even when things get tough, I feel confident that my partner will support me and we'll work through challenges together.

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8 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

It is easier to think through issues that are important to me than to express how I feel

I often expect the worst to happen in relationships

I talk things over with people.

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9 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I prefer to handle my problems on my own rather than relying on others for support or advice.

"My mind often races with thoughts about potential conflicts or misunderstandings in my relationships, making it difficult to fully enjoy moments of connection without worrying about the future."

When I face challenges, I feel reassured knowing that my friends will offer their support and encouragement without judgment.

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10 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I don't like relying on others, and that way I avoid getting disappointed.

Being alone sometimes scares me.

I know I can count on my friends to be there for me if I'm going through a rough time.

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11 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I have a tendency to overlook and dismiss caring behaviors from others.

"After eagerly awaiting the other person’s arrival (say, after a vacation or business trip), I end up picking a fight or feeling upset for no reason."

I am understood and feel that my needs are being met.

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12 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I tend to prefer relationships with animals or things instead of people.

I often experience unpredictable or sudden shifts of emotion (for example, switching from joy and happiness to fear and anger).

I feel comfortable expressing my own needs when I’m in a close relationship.

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Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

"Despite craving intimacy and connection, I struggle to fully trust others and often find myself holding back out of fear of being hurt or abandoned."

"Despite my efforts, I struggle to shake off the feeling of insecurity that lingers in my mind, questioning whether I'm truly valued and loved by those closest to me."

i often worry that my loved ones dont really care for me.

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Note: This next section will ask you about your relationship with your father, mother, or romantic partner. If a question is not relevant to you, you may select the "I disagree" option.

I prefer not to show my mother how I feel deep down. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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I'm afraid that my mother may abandon me. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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I find it easy to depend on my mother. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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I don't feel comfortable opening up to my father. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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It helps to turn to my father in times of need. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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I worry that my father doesn’t care about me as much as I care about him. ^*

I Agree

I Disagree

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In romantic relationships I... ^*

prefer not to show this person how I feel deep down.

I fear that my partner will abandon me.

I believe that my partner is highly interested in my emotional well-being.

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13 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

It makes me feel anxious when I am in a difficult situation and my partner tries to touch me to offer physical comfort.

I fear that my partner does not wish to be as close to me as I would like them to be.

I would describe my partner as a “safe haven” or “secure base”.

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14 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I don’t feel like I am worthy of affection, attention, and care in romantic relationships.

Frequently chatting with/texting/contacting my partner makes me feel less anxious in my relationship.

I’ve been rejected in the past, so I don't let myself get too close to my partner.

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15 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I struggle to emotionally support my partner when they're feeling down.

When I'm not in a relationship, I feel anxious and incomplete.

Overall, I'm satisfied with my romantic relationships.

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16 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I feel uncomfortable with vulnerability and may use humor or sarcasm to deflect serious conversations.

I often feel like I am not good enough for my partner.

When I'm in a relationship, I don't feel like I have to constantly check in with my partner or update them on everything I'm doing.

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17 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I startle or “jump” more easily than most people when approached unexpectedly.

I have a hard time letting go of relationships, even when they are unhealthy.

I respect my partner’s need for space and individuality.

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18 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

I avoid long-term commitments because they feel restricting.

I tend to obsess over small issues in my relationship.

I am comfortable with commitment and don’t fear long-term relationships.

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19 Select the answer that you most closely relate to. ^*

An argument with my partner usually makes me question the entire relationship.

During a conflict, I tend to act impulsively and do or say things I later regret.

My partner often wants more intimacy than I'm comfortable with.

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Congrats, you've answered all the questions!

You're that much closer to understanding your communication style, unlocking new growth in yourself and your relationships.

This next section will ask you some information about yourself.
In order to see your results, you will have to complete this part of the quiz too.

What's your name? ^*

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What's your email? ^*

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What's your phone number? (optional)

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